Tag Archives: altered biblical stories


When God created men
she thought: “I’ll create as many as I can
to see how long it takes them to wreck the earth
so I can create humanity 2.0 when I next give birth

Almost a #clerihew, for today’s prompt on napowrimo.net: “Today, I’d like to challenge you to write a poem that recounts a creation myth.” #NaPoWriMo day 19.

Dear mother

Dear mother,

I know you’ll find this hard to understand, but this is not a suicide note.
It’s what fate has in store for me.
It’s what I was born for.
It’s what I have to do.

Please don’t blame my friends, they could have done nothing to prevent this.
None could’ve averted fate.
Nobody could’ve halted what I was born for.
They did what they had to do.

Please don’t denounce the soldiers, they just followed orders.
They were to execute fate.
Even though they didn’t know what I was born for.
All of them did what they were supposed to do.

Don’t miss me mother. I’ll stay around, I’ll be back before you know it.
Losing me is your fate.
It’s what you gave birth for.
It’s what you have to do.

your baby J.

Forbidden fruit

It wasn’t the plucking of the apple
that got them thrown out of Paradise
Children misbehave
and God knew his children would do too

It wasn’t the eating of the apple
that got them expelled
Children maken mistakes
and God forgives

It wasn”t the knowledge part
that did them in
Children grow older and wiser
that’s how it’s supposed to be

It was the constant nagging
he couldn’t stand
The I know better than you do attitude they displayed

all day

Complaining how this tree should have stood a bit more to the left
and how there should have been more shade in a Paradise
Criticizing how the gorilla would have looked better with a tail
and you wouldn’t say the axolotl was created by intelligent design

“You obviously don’t know what you’ve got!”
he thundered
so he paved Paradise
and put up a parking lot