Author Archives: Angela van Son

About Angela van Son

Certified CTI trained coach who loves e-learning.

Two socks door

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It was a no-brainer what today’s door for #ThursdayDoor was going to be. The hospital door! This morning at 9 AM I went in there wearing just one sock and a cast. I came out wearing two socks… which is a spectacular feeling when that has been an impossibility for five months.

I’ll still have to walk on crutches with a special, supportive shoe for four weeks. But I can move my ankle again, I can touch my leg, I can try to move my toes… This seemingly endless period of immobility make me totally grateful for these small but big blessings.

After 5 months of no income I can use help in finding new coaching clients. If you like, you can help my sharing my cast-off celebration sale with people you know. Or buy a coaching voucher as a clutter free, environmentally friendly gift.

Just so you know: The topic can be ANYTHING, not just procrastination. Life, love, lust… Whatever someone would like to change in their life. Whatever they’d like to talk about to a good listener, who knows how to ask deepening questions and help you find your own answers.

For more Thusday Doors, head over to our host Norm.

Mud

There’s mud flowing through my veins, calling me to slow down and visit ancient times, to hunt the riddle that has been in my family for eons, to solve that part of the cosmic puzzle that we unknowingly have always been the keeper of.

But what if my piece doesn’t fit? What if time has changed the edges of the jigsaw beyond recognition? What if I’m carrying a copy and the original has been lost, back in the days? What if everything is ready but I’m not?

What if I’m not up to the task? What if I get lost, or bored – or distracted? What if I freeze? What if I don’t want to? What if the puzzle is not a puzzle after all?

I’ve just inherited mud.

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Todays #ThursdayDoor is dedicated to Manja, because it’s one of the old Ljubljana holiday pictures I promised her to dig up. It’s better when it’s properly scanned, but I had to work with my selfie camera. I think these doors were in the city center, but it’s been a loooooong time ago that I made the picture so I’m not sure.

The poem could be called a prose poem. Except for that those don’t have line breaks. So it’s not.

More doors can be found at the blog of our door keeper, Norm.

Gracias

Support
Carrying me
Gentle and steady
I bow my head
Grateful

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Last week’s #ThursdayDoor was taken from a hotel room in Spain. I also took a picture of these doors, because I wanted to share them with you.

I went to Spain for the second year of my education, even though I have a broken foot and I’ve had hardly any income for months because of it. The work we do there is too good to miss out on.

I think I underestimated how tough it would be, and in a way I’m glad I did. I probably wouldn’t have gone if I’d know I would be crying on day 2, because I was physically unable to go from the hotel restaurant back to the conference room. I was too tired. Too scared of the wet foot path. So I cried, and I asked for help. I wanted to be in the room where we learn, not alone and exhausted in my hotel room.

And help I received. In many different ways. People stayed with me, and helped me get back to the conference room. Someone checked if I’s be able to rent a wheel chair, and then arranged it for me together with another lovely person. The group chipped in to help me finance the wheelchair. I got help getting my food at meal time, taking me and the chair up the (many) stairs in the hotel. I got swirled around and danced with in the bar, patted gently on my cast..

It’s hard to explain what this has meant to me. I normally try to do things on my own, be independent, self-catering to my needs… So this was Different. Very Different. But it made my week. I’ve felt supported, loved, cared for, seen, and a number of synonyms I can’t even come up with. Maybe I can best explain it by what happened afterwards.

Last night I had a nightmare. It was about NOT asking for support, and how everything went wrong because of that. In my dream I felt that I needed support, and also why I didn’t ask for it or accept it. Me old-style… I was so happy when I woke up and

realised it was a nightmare. In reality, all those things didn’t go wrong. And I now know how to ask for support, allow for it, be grateful for it, and even enjoy it sometimes.

Thank you!

Circumlocution

I am
rooted in reality,
but not what I seem

I do
talk about things
but don’t say what I mean

I aim
to explain difficult things
the easy way

I am
evasive
but I’m here to stay

I promised Manja to look through my old holiday pictures, because I suspected I photographed some doors when I was in Ljubljana somewhere in the nineties. I had to take a picture of the picture with my selfie camera, because the other camera on my phone is broken.

If you want a better quality picture where you can zoom in and admire the sculptures, I recommend this page. Wikipedia will tell you more about the building and its doors, and the history that goes with them.

If you want to see doors from all over the world, check out #ThursdayDoors and Norms page, who invites us weekly to share the beauty and joy of doors.

This is my 31st poem for #OctPoWriMo. I’m off prompt today and the poem is not linked to the doors, but never mind, I’ve made it to the end! Even with the hassle of my broken foot, and the strugge to finance my education this year (GoFundMe still available!).

Thanks http://www.octpowrimo.com/ for providing a month of inspiring prompts, and for all the participants who’ve contributed by writing and reading. I normally disappear at the end of a poetry writing month, to recover. This time I hope to keep up with ThursdayDoors, and to not disappear off WordPress completely 🙂

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We’re in this together

Grateful

I am someone who gets supported

Money

Help

I am someone who receives support

I am someone who gets support

Friendship

Love

I am someone, supported

I am supported

Acknowledgment

Attention

I am support

I am

Kindness

Full circle

I support

We’re in this together

I feel really grateful today, and humble. I’ve managed to pay the first installment of my tuition costs this year, thanks to the generous help of friends, family and even strangers! Which means I can follow my heart and my dream, and continue my learning to facilitate deep processes in people. The type of processes that enable healing and create space for new experiences.

The process of sharing that I need help, accepting the help that’s offered, and feel okay about it, turned out to be uncomfortable but rich learning ground. It brought (and still brings) a lot of feelings. A friend of mine wrote: “I found out that giving and receiving is a sacred exchange and everybody involved wins.”
Sacred is not a word I normally use, but I do believe I understand, with all of my heart, what she meant.

Esther Spurrill Jones provided our prompt today at octpowrimo.com. It was ‘Me, or who am I’, and the suggested form ‘invent your own’. My first response was that I would be able to work with any of these, but waiting and opening up turned out to be enough to find a starting point and take it from there. I think my newly-invented- form-with-no-name yet can be read in any direction you want to. From right to left. Up and down. Circular. As one poem, or two, or three. A split poem, a cleft poem – just experiment and read it any way you like.

Carrier

The bottom of the sea
is always there
beneath the water
even when you can’t see it

Affected by waves
that come
and go
and come
but only a little bit
compared to its vastness

Trust on it
to be there
available
to carry the sea

The prompt today at octpowrimo.com was ‘lightness of being’.