Gentle and steady
I bow my head
Last week’s #ThursdayDoor was taken from a hotel room in Spain. I also took a picture of these doors, because I wanted to share them with you.
I went to Spain for the second year of my education, even though I have a broken foot and I’ve had hardly any income for months because of it. The work we do there is too good to miss out on.
I think I underestimated how tough it would be, and in a way I’m glad I did. I probably wouldn’t have gone if I’d know I would be crying on day 2, because I was physically unable to go from the hotel restaurant back to the conference room. I was too tired. Too scared of the wet foot path. So I cried, and I asked for help. I wanted to be in the room where we learn, not alone and exhausted in my hotel room.
And help I received. In many different ways. People stayed with me, and helped me get back to the conference room. Someone checked if I’s be able to rent a wheel chair, and then arranged it for me together with another lovely person. The group chipped in to help me finance the wheelchair. I got help getting my food at meal time, taking me and the chair up the (many) stairs in the hotel. I got swirled around and danced with in the bar, patted gently on my cast..
It’s hard to explain what this has meant to me. I normally try to do things on my own, be independent, self-catering to my needs… So this was Different. Very Different. But it made my week. I’ve felt supported, loved, cared for, seen, and a number of synonyms I can’t even come up with. Maybe I can best explain it by what happened afterwards.
Last night I had a nightmare. It was about NOT asking for support, and how everything went wrong because of that. In my dream I felt that I needed support, and also why I didn’t ask for it or accept it. Me old-style… I was so happy when I woke up and
realised it was a nightmare. In reality, all those things didn’t go wrong. And I now know how to ask for support, allow for it, be grateful for it, and even enjoy it sometimes.