Proud member of the NUA

I’ve got a 6-shot muzzle-loaded cap & ball umbrella*
And I’m not afraid to use it
I take my .44 collapsible shade everywhere I go
for protection, never carry it concealed
Semi-automatic, safe-action, short recoil –
everything I need to keep my hair from harm

See the beautiful fabric
stretched over hinged ribs
radiating from a central pole
with a hammer and tip-up action?
When not mounted, the stock acts as a holster
– No you can’t touch it

I will only give up my umbrella
when they peel my cold dead fingers from around it
I have a right to protect me from the rain
Ain’t no damn socialist going to take that away from me

*There are over one billion umbrellas distributed globally. About 85 percent are in civilian hands

I struggled with today’s prompt at “If … Were an Umbrella”. This poem comes to you with compliments from the Merriam Webster dictionary and Wikipedia The NUA in the title means the National Umbrella Association. As far as I know it doesn’t exist – but I haven’t checked 😉

12 thoughts on “Proud member of the NUA

  1. Shuku Li

    BAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA ok, this was an absolute GEM of a piece. To be fair,umbrellas ARE dangerous. I’ve injured myself with them before.

  2. Dawn D

    I LOVE it!
    Well done Angela, I would never have guessed you struggled with the prompt!
    (I didn’t even look at it seriously, the prompt, I mean).

  3. Barbara Daly

    blew me away. Have much work to do to get anywhere with my efforts puny but will try try and try, love reading poetry always have and always will. I have always loved the older poets so am not so used to modern ones at all. I will try and find the course I took oline so many many years ago, must be 15 years at least I think. My present day memory not being as good as my memory of past events. However I have lived in the past for too long now and feel inspired by what I have read in the short time I have had, I should be sorting my house out I am a bit of a hoarder and need to get ready for the DHSS :I have not got ready all the paper work they will probably demand to see, I hell with it will do my best mug of americano top priority and some soothing music to calm my nerves for I am dreading being even more poorer than I am already, but at least I own the house I live in messy or not and my lovely view of the castle where I so very lucky to live is free and I enjoy just sitting and staring at the sky and the trees and watching for what birds will come to my feeders sadly their numbers have declined over the last few years and it is very worrying that I have not seen a hedge hog at all this year and only one poor little sick one last year it is all the building I suspect and tiny enclosed what they call gardens now and the traffic flattening them on the tarmac as they speed by heedless of nature always in such a rush to get to their jobs and some have 3 or 4 to survive with the low wages paid if you can get a full time job you are very lucky.

  4. Pingback: Letter from Zagreb | Unassorted stories

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