Dear inner critic,
You can stay in the house when I’m gone, I won’t sell it.
I’ll probably call in, every once in a while, to see how you’re doing. No parties allowed – I’ve asked the neighbours to keep an eye on you. You’ll have to repay me for any damage done.
Don’t expect me to invest in maintenance. You have enough time on your hands now to make amends. Don’t call me, I’ll call you.
your former protegee