Erasure (take two)

A happy family picture
in the window
for all to see

She waited – patiently

Passers by smiled
cute little faces
Reminiscing joy
the absence of pain

She waited
patiently

Sun faded colours
erased features
wiped smiles

She waited, patiently

Framed glass
reflecting raindrops –
numerous
pictures of her
waiting patiently

One day
there was no trace left
She smiled
first time
– it was gone
finally

An empty frame
left in the window sill
for all to see
She smiled
each time she passed it

Happily

I seldom create a take two for a poem. I tend to think that I don’t have the skills to improve a poem after it’s written. When a lovely fellow poet suggested to me that I could strip Erasure, I thought that was an interesting challenge.

If you like one better than the other, I’m really interested in hearing which one 🙂

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Erasure (take two)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s